There are a few things I cannot abide. Most of them do with myself. Behaviors, actions, inaction, not physical traits. Though, I suppose, I could be more picky about those, too.
However, as seemed to happen today, I put my performance over someone else’s needs. And that, I should not abide.
Yes, my job might be “important”. Yes, I have tasks that I “need to do” every day. But to not take a few minutes out of my day to aid a fellow coworker?
Sure, it was a bit hectic. Not with customers, just with tasks. Well, really, it was trying to squeeze time in to do my job while working somewhere else–which happens a fair amount these days–but that’s neither here nor there. The point is, why didn’t I take the time to help?
Is thirty minutes too valuable? Is my time more important because I’m a supervisor?
Should I not want to help others? If I get in trouble instead of them, is that better? If I’m late for a meeting to help a coworker, is that okay?
There’s probably a right answer in there somewhere. I just know that today, I dropped the ball. One of my goals upon getting promoted to supervisor was that I wanted to make sure everyone got a lunch break. Today, however, I took mine, and after, while I had coverage at the cashier station, I finished my reports before our manager meeting. Instead, I could have used the time to cover another coworker’s break…
The truth is, I guess, I’m just disappointed in myself. Not that I let the reality of my environment erode my goals after only ten months, but because I let a human being suffer while I enjoyed a privileged status.
I suppose, I’m just disappointed in myself for not emulating the love of God more. I’m just glad Jesus didn’t follow my footsteps, but blazed his own trail.
And, thankfully, there’s always tomorrow.