There are a few things I cannot abide.  Most of them do with myself.  Behaviors, actions, inaction, not physical traits.  Though, I suppose, I could be more picky about those, too.

However, as seemed to happen today, I put my performance over someone else’s needs.  And that, I should not abide.

Yes, my job might be “important”.  Yes, I have tasks that I “need to do” every day.  But to not take a few minutes out of my day to aid a fellow coworker?

Sure, it was a bit hectic. Not with customers, just with tasks.  Well, really, it was trying to squeeze time in to do my job while working somewhere else–which happens a fair amount these days–but that’s neither here nor there.  The point is, why didn’t I take the time to help?

Is thirty minutes too valuable?  Is my time more important because I’m a supervisor?

Should I not want to help others?  If I get in trouble instead of them, is that better?  If I’m late for a meeting to help a coworker, is that okay?

There’s probably a right answer in there somewhere.  I just know that today, I dropped the ball.  One of my goals upon getting promoted to supervisor was that I wanted to make sure everyone got a lunch break.  Today, however, I took mine, and after, while I had coverage at the cashier station, I finished my reports before our manager meeting.  Instead, I could have used the time to cover another coworker’s break…

The truth is, I guess, I’m just disappointed in myself.  Not that I let the reality of my environment erode my goals after only ten months, but because I let a human being suffer while I enjoyed a privileged status.

I suppose, I’m just disappointed in myself for not emulating the love of God more.  I’m just glad Jesus didn’t follow my footsteps, but blazed his own trail.

And, thankfully, there’s always tomorrow.

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