God has truly awe inspiring love for us. No matter how often we turn away, refuse Him, or ignore Him, He still reaches out a hand toward us. Still whispers your name.
Just because you don’t want God to love you doesn’t mean He stops.
God yearns for you. Maybe you haven’t responded when He calls your name because you aren’t ready. You don’t believe He’d choose you. You want to fix yourself first. Maybe you think that He’s made a mistake. How could He love you, need you, after that? Maybe you aren’t listening because you’re too distracted by the flash and glimmer of the world. Maybe you’ve been hurt before or have never seen what true unconditional love looks like.
If that’s the case, I’m sorry. Everyone is worthy of love.
Humans fail humans. All the time. I know that I’m a terrible mess. I’ve made a mess of my own life, too. But no matter how my ship ends up splintered on the rocks, as I pick up the pieces, I know one thing without a doubt. God is with me. He will never leave or forsake me (Deuteronomy 31:6, Hebrews 13:5). And, someone will come along to help me. Whether that person is a long-time, dear, close friend or just passing along the beach looking for sea glass, they were put in my life at that moment to help restore my ship.
I wish I could say that you’d never feel hurt or rejection. Unfortunately, that’s not the world we live in. We live in a world that wants you to wallow in your suffering yet cover it with stuff. It tells us that if we bury our pain deep enough, it’ll be gone. That we can fill the holes in our hearts with things.
The only thing that can fill our heart is love.
Buried pain, regrets, and feelings bubble to the surface eventually. They fester, corrupting our lives and marring our relationships. The only way to clear them is through forgiveness. Absolution comes from God. It frees us from the shackles that would drag us down and convince us that we don’t matter that we aren’t worth anything.
Run to the only One who saves. Throw yourself upon His mercy. Allow His grace to wash over you. He longs to heal you.
Though he yearned to wrap His arms tight around you and whisper, “I’ll never let you push me away”, He didn’t. He allows you to choose. He just extends his arms wide, waiting to embrace you.
We’re all broken people. We have broken, shattered hearts. Hearts of stone. Gaping wounds that seem too big to heal. A thousand tiny cuts that sting whenever the wind blows. That’s okay. Don’t fill your life or give your time to waste and deceitful treasure.
To quote the Archbishop of Detroit’s pastoral letter:
All these false answers to the deepest questions of life are not reasons for discouragement but for hope, because they show that people are hungry and searching for truth even if they are knocking on the wrong door. As St. Augustine wrote, “O Lord, you have made us for yourself, and our hearts are restless until they find rest in you.”11 The absence of God in our culture has not quenched the thirst for God in the human heart. It has only misdirected it. Every human being, even if they are not aware of it, longs to be known and to be loved unconditionally. Everyone yearns for authentic happiness. Everyone wants to be secure in their identity, to be fulfilled as a human being, and to matter to others in some way. God himself has placed these desires in the human heart, and they can ultimately be fulfilled in Christ alone; anything less will fail to satisfy. That is why we who belong to Christ can never cease to propose him to those who do not yet know him. Jesus Christ is the desire of the nations, and his Gospel is the answer to the deepest aspirations of the human heart.
11 Augustine, Confessions, 1.1.